"Just do your job!" (And other things I say at least 10 times a day)

For one day every year, and preferably on the same day, it would be really great if everyone could just do their respective jobs like they are supposed to.  That would be SO GREAT.

Unfortunately, since such a day does not exist, and because you have to BEG people to JUST DO THEIR JOBS, here are a few of the things I’ve had to deal with in the past week:    

• No, Unnamed Mortgage Lender, I can’t get you that piece of paperwork – because you ALREADY HAVE IT. I gave it to you last week. Along with the rest of my life on paper. Secrets between this guy and I? We have none.
• No, Unnamed Creditor, I do not owe you $6000 dollars for a Suzuki crotch rocket. In fact, I have never even been on a “donor”cycle, let alone owned one. Nice try.
• No, Unnamed Landlady, I can’t “just wait a few more days” for you to come fix my nonexistent water pressure. I have a booger-laden toddler that requires a bath.  
• No, Unnamed Dentist’s Incompetent Biller, I will not pay $140 for my yearly cleaning because you submitted the claim to my old insurance policy when you literally had a copy of my new insurance policy in your hand.
• No, Unnamed Husband, I cannot take the trash out. I have a cold. And I am the woman in this relationship. I do not take out the trash.

Seriously, y’all? Seriously?

So because someone(s) couldn’t be bothered to do the job they get paid to do, I now have to make 6 phone calls, 5 photocopies, 4 emails, 3 trips to my mother-in-law’s house to take a freaking shower, 2 drives to Dunkin Donuts to eat my feelings, and 1 giant fight with my husband (mainly because I’m stressed out about other things)? Le help. I need my mommy. And a pedicure.

Someone send me some positive, patient energy, if you have any to spare.

I am a woman on the edge of telling somebody what’s up.