Saturday, April 21, 2012

140 Characters or Less

That's right... tonight, we're talking Twitter.

For those of you that know me, you know that I am a huge Twitter fan. I like being able to keep up with friends near and far, I think it's great when people know to use Twitter instead of sharing every moment of their lives on Facebook (I call those people that FGATs.... As in, "I don't want to know that you just ate a sandwich for lunch, F-ing Get A Twitter already!"), and I am compelled to keep up with the daily lives of certain celebrities and quasi-celebrities (Kim Zolciak, I am talking about you!).

I got to thinking the other day... it's actually kind of telling what people choose to post in the mere 140 characters they have on Twitter to share their thoughts, fears, ideas, apprehensions, jokes, anxieties, sarcasms, rants, etc. Then I also got to thinking how much my life has changed since I got my Twitter account way back in 2009 (did we even have blogs then?), and I decided to post what I feel are my Twitter "Greatest Hits," the 140 or less character posts that most define me.

So here we go...

2009

Mustangs, Camaros, and Chargers should have an application process that includes rules about max age and min attractiveness

My obsession with True Blood and Big Love is super complicated by the fact that I'm too cheap to pay for HBO. Something's gotta give.

Is it a false sense of accomplishment that I'm totally proud I can read all the French on my shampoo bottle?

My T9 Word is finally starting to understand me... today when I tried to type "hottie" it autocorrected to "hogtie" instead of "hoagie."

Hello pot, meet kettle.

It's zero points if your boyfriend don't know.

Still waiting for that moment when all the annoying crap my parents do becomes endearing. Not there yet.

2010

"Miss Truvy, I promise that I will not let my personal tragedy interfere with my ability to do good hair."

All I do is clean. Literally all the time. I just invent things that need cleaning.

Best and worst part of music? When you suddenly realize you know exactly how the person who wrote the  song was feeling when they wrote it.

Let's play a little game called respect is a two-way street.

Scrubbing bathrooms and Braxton-Hicks Contractions... Starting the day off right? Next in my exciting life: Vacuuming!

Full moon tomorrow night. You know what that means. Fingers crossed, people.

2011

Twitter is my passive-aggressive outlet and I'm not sorry. Too many grown-ups are my Facebook friends so that doesn't fly anymore.

Process, not content. Process, not content.

My favorite part of the day is rocking you to sleep.

He is my light, my strength, my song.

No one else could ever mean half as much to me as you do now.

I am a to-do list addict.

I like to think I have a design vision, but really I just watch too much HGTV.

Don't need your approval, but some support would be nice.

2012


Someone text me and remind me to schedule Parker's pictures. My brain is more like a screen door than a sponge at this point.

It's only a bad day if I let it be.

Things I worry about: If you won't kill a spider, will you protect us from bad guys? Time to invest in Orkin and ADT.

As my mentor says, "Jesus be a fence around me."


Thursday, April 12, 2012